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Name:小空
Age:18
"I only want what I can't have..."
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 ; 11:52 AM
My head won't stop spinning. My mood has gone psycho. Every time I pick myself up, my mood just ends up crashing all over again. And I know why.
It's because for a single second, I let myself believe that what she was saying was true. I let myself believe that things could go back to what they were like in the summer. I let my gaurd down and thought that maybe I wasn't just the court jester. And now I am paying the price.
I don't care what she says,
or how badly I want to hear it
or how much she THINKS she means it,
I can not let myself think that she could ever love me and only me.
She is always going to want someone else. Someone better then me. Someone I can never compair to.
I have a good thing going,
so why fuck it up by letting my emotions get in the way.
I can just....
pretend.
"Its always easy when you have it your way"
Sunday, February 22, 2009 ; 1:41 PM
So I haven't blogged in a while, but, that's nothing to big, because nothing real interesting has happened. My mom is moving in next week. So now we will all be one big family. I'm a little [ok, WAY more then a little] nervous about March. First...XT's present is NOWHERE near finished. And with Arica coming to visit I have a feeling that I am going to be ignored for a weekend. I am scared that they are going to remember why they hate me, that they are going to exclude me the whole time, and that XT is going to forget why she is even my friend. So, I'm nervous.
I hope things go well.
I hope they go way better then I think they will
"Life couldn't get better..."
Friday, February 6, 2009 ; 9:06 AM
Ok, That is a little bit of a lie. It COULD get better, but, I am perfectly happy with the way things are. My mom is on the mend, I get to hang out with my best friends and things are actually looking up for me. Life is good and I am going to enjoy it while I can
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